i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
