I would go down on you faster than GM stock
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
