Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
