she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
