I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
