An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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