He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
