she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
