were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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