they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just invented taco cereal.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
