we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
we're making bets on your personal life
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
