you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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