Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
