wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
