Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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