it's too hot outside to masturbate.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
