I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
