dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
