Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
This beer is not sobering me up at all
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
