Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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