how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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