great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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