True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
