threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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