please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
