I think my vagina is haunted
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
