this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
