is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
