you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
