I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
and she was petting her beer can
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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