i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
