Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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