I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
