I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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