His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
