yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
