ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
