Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize