Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
