it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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