i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
