why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
