Its about making memories worth repressing
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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