She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
this just has baby written all over it
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
