i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He better not be in your backpack
She needs sedatives and a leash
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
