So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
