I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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