I feel like abortions should bother me more
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
