YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
40s are totally the cure
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
