is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
